Episode 62: Chris Resop on Discipline and Fun as a Father, Coach, and Retired Pro

We’re not just teaching these kids the game of baseball, we’re teaching them how to be teammates and how to be better kids.
— Chris Resop

Chris Resop has a very successful Real Estate career in Naples, FL, and is a former professional baseball player. Chris was born and raised in Naples and graduated from Barron G. Collier High School in 2001. He was drafted by the Florida Marlins in 2001 in the 4th round of the Major League Baseball draft, and played for fourteen years before retiring after the 2014 season. He and his wife (also from Naples!) returned home to raise their two kids. Since retiring Resop has become a successful Real Estate agent, following his passion for design and architecture and a long family lineage of developers in Florida. Hard work is all he’s known, and it paid off! Chris is ranked in the top 1% in the country amongst Real Estate agents, and in addition to attributing the work ethic he established in baseball he says positive thinking and coming back after failure is key to this success. In this episode Chris and Kathy talk about creating a culture of discipline on his teams, and the impulse to rush in and help as a parent or coach when independence can actually be one of the most valuable lessons in teaching young athletes! Chris shares important reminders to let go of performance (leaving it on the field) at the end of the day, that baseball is a game of failure, and that in any sport when the games become a job it’s time to walk away. Chris was offered a full ride to the University of Miami to play baseball at the same time as his draft onto the Marlins, and also shares how his parents supported his decision to take a chance at achieving his goal to play in the MLB. As a former professional player, a dad, and a coach, Chris has learned so much about the balance of when support is too much and when it’s not enough. His work ethic and insight into all three roles really make this episode one not to miss. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through  ://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 61: Carma and Tony Poppens on Farming, Family, and Fatigue

Along with all the negative, you need some positive reinforcement.
— Carma Poppens
Nothing is ever easy, for me, it’s the same as farming… you keep doing the job until it’s done. Role modeling, doing by example is worth more than words.
— Tony Poppens

In this episode Kathy is joined by Carma and Tony Poppens, the proud parents of retired professional basketball player Chelsea Poppens. Chelsea began her career playing AAU basketball beginning the summer of her seventh-grade year. During that time the family spent summers on the road together, driving one hour and ten minutes to practice twice a week! They were gone many weekends, slowing down during her Junior year of high school after fatigue and burnout took their toll. She went on to attend Iowa State for four years and played professional basketball after her ISU season was done. She finished her career at age 27 in December of 2018. Carma and Tony live on a farm in Aplington, Iowa. After many dedicated years in the stands, it was difficult for them not to be able to attend all of her professional games overseas, but they enjoyed reading about and watching her games online! Chelsea holds an impressive record at Iowa State, being one of only two players to achieve more than 1,000 points and 1,000 rebounds in the history of the Iowa State women’s basketball program. She was drafted in the second round of the WNBA and played for the San Antonio Stars. Carma and Tony discuss Chelsea’s experiences growing up on a farm and her determination and dedication to play. They credit her competitive nature, ability to return to sports after long seasons, and “never give up” attitude with her sports performance. Unlike many professional athletes, Chelsea did not spend her early years specializing in basketball, but played soccer and ran on the state level in track and field at the high school level. In addition, her upbringing living on a working farm and being coached by both Tony and Carma contributed to their close family dynamic. In her four years at Iowa State, Tony only missed attending two (home and away) games! Their family is such an incredible example for other sports parents, and they advise parents in the thick of trying to find a good balance to listen to their children, especially allowing independence in their drive and dedication to reach their individual goals. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 60: Ken Andiorio on Finding Your Why and Overcoming Failure

The only thing that you can control is your work ethic
— Ken Andiorio

Ken Andiorio is an athletic director at the high school level in Naples, FL. He grew up in New Jersey, playing sports on organized teams and with his neighborhood friends. Through some positive peer pressure, he went on to a successful high school football career and played for and traveled with the Rutgers University Scarlet Knights. He credits the teamwork and cooperation he learned and coaching he received from sports as shaping much of who has become, and as life took him through business and then into education, sports was something he continued to gravitate towards. When the opportunity came to serve as the Activities Coordinator at Collier County Schools in Naples, he gladly took it. He is fresh off completing his fifth year in that position, and after 25 years working with students and parents and seventeen years teaching, he has learned a tremendous amount! In this episode, Kathy and Ken dig into risk and navigating the possibility of success and failure with student-athletes, parents allowing students to risk, fail, and learn to fail well - overcoming obstacles and not allowing failure to be a deterrent. Ken encourages that purpose, not a failure, defines you and has great words of wisdom for parents working with their athletes to determine their “Why?”. He outlines two common types of athletes he works with, and the qualities that make a successful athlete; internal motivation, enjoyment of the activity, development of a work ethic, and the ability to deal with adversity. He stresses supporting your child, encouraging improvement and following the direction of the coaching staff, and going together to reach goals. He shares his experiences of seeing successful parents model failure for student-athletes, letting them have the experience and standing beside them, while stressing that athletes be responsible for their behaviors and the consequences. He also shares fantastic advice for students currently transitioning from the high school level to collegiate athletics. Parents, we encourage you to share this episode with your athletes! If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 59: Dr. Alise Bartley on Coaching Yourself First

“I think it’s really important that all of us are reflecting on those micro communications...because our actions speak louder than our words.”
— Dr. Alise Bartley

Dr. Alise G. Bartley is a marriage and family therapist that has been helping families, couples, and individuals for over 25 years. She earned her MA in Counseling and Human Development from Walsh University and her Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from The University of Akron. Her focus is on helping those who are struggling with their mental wellness from a relationship perspective. She believes that no one lives life in isolation and that we are greatly impacted by those around us. Since no one therapy fits everyone, she uses a combination of theoretical orientations to provide a customized therapeutic experience including Emotionally Focused Therapy, Structural Family Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Her areas of expertise include relationship issues such as communication issues, parenting, healthy sexual functioning, along with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and personality disorders. She has helped clients work through a diversity of situations including divorce, shared parenting, family business stressors, trauma, developmental issues, education exploration, and LGBT.

 

In this episode, Kathy and Alise dive into what it looks like to model understanding and reflection in our own behaviors and recognize that our children are learning from us and how we are responding to our environment. Alise explains that it’s important to reinforce important behaviors in ourselves if we expect those behaviors in our kids. “How we respond to events sets the stage for how you and your child can work together.” They also touch on the special “car time” that happens with parents to and from sporting events.


Episode 58: Chris and Holly Santillo on the Parent as Teacher

If you allow a child to discover the answer it is far more effective than just providing that answer.
— Holly Santillo

Chris Santillo is the founder and head instructor at Potomac Kempo, a martial arts studio with four locations in Alexandria, Virginia. Holly Santillo is the founding conductor of Mount Vernon Children’s Choir and a Senior Instructor at Potomac Kempo. Together they have been working with and educating children for more than thirty-five years. Chris has a degree in computer science from Harvey Mudd College and an MBA from Georgetown University and Holly has a degree in anthropology from Willamette University. In Chris and Holly’s Book, Resilience Parenting, they share the insights they have gained as teachers and parents. They offer positive alternatives to lecturing, bribing, and punishing; focusing instead on three pillars: Learning, Integrity, and Service. Chris and Holly tell us that by applying these powerful principles, you can inspire your children to develop the independence they need to succeed as adults, while renewing their connection to family and community. Whether you are raising a teenager or just starting your family, the methods prescribed in this book will help you unlock your greatest potential as a parent. In this episode Kathy and the Santillo’s discuss teachable skills such as cultivating confidence in your athletes through a balance of independence and connectedness. They share their three pillars of love of learning, becoming people of service, and acting as people of integrity and the growth that has come from utilizing their role as teachers with their family. They stress the curiosity of having an empty cup, assessing when kids are ready, the spiral method, keeping a lesson plan in mind as parents and coaches, and recognizing opportunities for spontaneous learning. Chris and Holly impart so much wisdom in this episode, especially the importance of sharing your failures with your kids far more than successes! Chris and Holly are currently traveling around the world with their family, and you can follow along at https://fivebackpacks.family. If you enjoyed this episode please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen.


Episode 57: Winston White on Staying Hydrated this Summer

Prevention is better than a cure.
— Winston White

Our guest this week Winston White chose soccer over a promising track and field career and went on to amass nearly 600 professional league games in the UK. His exceptional sporting background along with his Sports Business Degree and MBA qualifies him for many key posts in the sports, health, and fitness industry. He runs his own soccer agency where he manages young soccer talent and places them into professional teams in Europe. His love of sport and fitness is only matched by his expert knowledge and business acumen. His dedication and professionalism have allowed him to maintain a very impressive network of contacts in the sports and business world. Winston was appointed to Blueprint, a Caribbean soccer initiative that ultimately received FIFA funding based on his skilled consultation. He is also a qualified personal trainer and worked for the US-owned company Life Fitness for a number of years before moving to Naples five years ago via the Caribbean. His passion will always be sports, and he is dedicated to helping others live their dreams. Winston is fresh off of speaking on dehydration and youth sports. and joins Kathy to discuss the roles parents, coaches, and players play in staying properly fueled when it comes to water and sports drinks! White highlights the role of sodium for fluid retention, why it’s important to hydrate before experiencing thirst, how reducing high-sugar drinks can help an athlete excel, and his experience testing extensively whether hydration before activity can change the game. White also encourages wearing light-colored technical clothing, making modifications based on conditions, and taking breaks in intensity when activity levels and temperatures both climb up high! His smart approaches to prevention and optimization are incredibly motivating and inspirational. Parents, pass this episode on to coaches and athletes as they enter the summer season, along with a reminder to stay safe and stay hydrated! If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 56: Marissa Baker on the Importance of Attitude and Playing for Fun

Whatever attitude or belief you are having is not only influencing the child but at a higher rate, because your child is around you all the time.
— Marissa Baker

Marissa Baker was born and raised in Naples, FL and grew up playing competitive volleyball. She went on to play NCAA Division II collegiate Volleyball at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. During her time at UNC she obtained her bachelor’s degree in Sport Management and a master’s degree in Sport Administration. She is currently the Athletic Supervisor of North Collier Regional Park, which is home to eight tournament soccer fields and five tournament softball fields. In her role Marissa is supervising tournaments on weekend and league play throughout the week, and sees up close how sport parenting and behavior play important role in athletic performance. Marissa has studied emotional contagion, or the concept that attitudes are picked up from person to person. She emphasizes that children pick up on cues from parents, and what happens in a moment can ripple out to what happens on the field, off the field, and even in the career world in that athlete’s future. In this episode Marissa and Kathy discuss how she has witnessed the decline of rec sports in favor of club sports, early drop-out and burnout rates rising, and why she encourages parents not to skip the developmental level of playing simply for fun. Whether rec ball or going outside as a family and playing just for enjoyment, intentionally not skipping out on that first level is what will produce the happy pro athlete (or just a happy adult) you’re hoping to raise. Marissa also stresses how her parents encouraged her growth through taking initiative, keeping personal accountability rather than averting to others, and working through problems independently. She credits handling conflict on her own, with support, as an important tool for her growth. Marissa is the co-host of the Sun Happens Podcast, which you can tune into on Spotify, iTunes, and Google Play. She and her co-host discuss a wide range of topics centered around the “why” of faith to motivate positivity and personal growth. Their tagline, “When you can’t find it, create it.”, epitomizes the tone of this episode; her conversation with Kathy is full of positivity and motivation. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 55: Christopher Mance on Purpose and Performance

Once they do develop a love of the sport you don’t want to take away that love.
— Chris Mance

Chris attended high school in New Jersey where he was a three-sport athlete in football, wrestling, and track. He received a varsity letter in all three sports and served as the captain of both the football and wrestling teams. After high school Chris attended the United States Military Academy at West Point. At West Point he played on the Army West Point football team. Chris later went on to get a master’s degree in software engineering at Florida A&M University. After finishing grad school, Chris worked full-time as a business analyst, consultant, and project manager at Accenture, Amdocs, and Lockheed Martin for 10 years. Chris left his job at Lockheed Martin to launch the startup Nichevertising, a software solution Chris built to help emerging thought leaders engage with the journalists and influencers in their niche. However, Chris shut down the company in August 2015 because he realized that he wasn’t following his true passion – helping youth and high school athletes reach their potential and enjoy their sports journey. With the help of his long-time mentor Reggie and his company Your Crescendo Chris found this purpose. Chris started working as a consultant for Your Crescendo in 2015, but things really started to click in early 2018 when he started consulting for one of Your Crescendo's key faith-based clients. These experiences brought him closer to his faith and his purpose to serve. He realized that his purpose in life was to combine his experiences from being an entrepreneur, software engineer, project manager, consultant, coach, dad, husband, and youth sports advocate. Have you been “that parent” and later regretted casting your own ambition, disappointment, or expectations on your athlete? This episode is for you!

Chris joins Kathy to discuss finding your purpose and balance as a sport parent to perform to your strengths and act as a guide to growing athletes, rather!  than a dad-coach or mom-coach. He shares his experience of developing an understanding of his own strengths and learning when to pull back. His approach shifted from feedback and self-learning, and this episode is absolutely brimming with hard-won wisdom. Chris strongly recommends parenting from your own unique strengths rather than trying to do it all, and mentions the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment. If you are interested in finding out more, find StrengthsFinder at https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/home/en-us/strengthsfinder. Chris can be found at http://chrismance.com, and Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 54: Dr. Robert A Weil on Podiatry in Youth Sports and his New Book, #Hey Sport Parents

There’s so much overkill and overuse in youth sports.
— Dr. Robert A Weil

Dr. Bob has treated many of the world’s premier athletes from all types of sports. He is the host of “The Sports Doctor™” Radio Show. The show is featured on BBS Radio Network, UK Health Radio Network & Sports 4 Fanz Radio. Dr. Bob was formerly on HealthyLife Radio and was also on WDCB public radio in Chicago for over 20 years. He has written articles for many newspapers and magazines, and is a frequent guest on other networks. He is a Sports Podiatrist, specializing in orthotics that improve alignment, stability, balance, and performance. This episode is packed with information from Dr. Bob! This is a fun and vital listen, as Kathy and Dr. Bob discuss his new book, “#Hey Sports Parents!”, overuse injuries, and the mental and physical challenges of youth sports, and how to deal with the pressure from both the parent perspective and athlete perspective. Dr. Bob shares his immense knowledge on how specialization and training can affect not only the feet and ankles, but the entire body. Podiatry could be the missing element from your training! Learn more from Dr. Bob on his website, http://sportsdoctorradio.com, and if you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to connect with you! Find her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.



Episode 53: Dr. Jerry Lynch on Self-Reflection and Awareness

In life, without self-awareness, we cut off our potential to grow in a way that we find really deep true meaning in life.
— Dr. Jerry Lynch

While most would consider him simply a sports psychologist, Dr. Lynch is a coach, mentor and teacher who guides and coaches athletes and parents to explore the meaning and purpose of sport, as a powerful vehicle to help us all understand the components of the athletic game and how they apply to the bigger game called life. In the process of this exploration, overall athletic performance is greatly enhanced. Dr. Lynch has been recognized as one of the top five in his profession nationwide. He has worked with men's and women's basketball, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, golf and other sports at the universities of North Carolina, Duke, Maryland, California, Syracuse, Stanford, Harvard and Middlebury and continues to work with several teams and parent groups nationally.  Several of his clients have participated in various summer and winter Olympic Games. Most recently, he has established a consultancy with Steve Kerr, head coach of the World Champion Golden State Warriors. In the past 30 years alone, he has been part of 54 Final Four and 36 National Championship at the collegiate and professional levels. Dr. Lynch is a well known and in-demand public speaker at Leadership, Coaching, athletic and corporate conventions, a national presenter of conferences, clinics and workshops for coaches, sports parents and athletes. Dr. Lynch has had extensive media interview coverage such as being an invited guest on CBS, NBC, and PBS national television, the New York Times, Oprah Magazine, Sports Illustrated, Baltimore Sun, Outside Magazine and over 50 national radio broadcasts, podcasts and webinars. Dr. Lynch received his doctorate in psychology from Penn State University, and has done extensive post-doctoral work in the area of philosophy, Taoist and Buddhist thought, comparative religions, leadership development and performance enhancement. He has been a national class athlete, having been a member of a national championship team and, to this day, continues to run and bike. He has coached at the high school level as well as AAU sports. He is the author of 13 books. Dr. Lynch is the founder and director of Way of Champions, a performance consulting group geared toward helping others master the inner game. He maintains a private practice and an extensive sports psychology consultation service. He is the father of four high energy, athletic children. He divides his time between his offices in Santa Cruz, California and Boulder, Colorado where he works and writes in the spirit of what he teaches and coaches. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Dr. Lynch has been inspired by other sport parents in his desire to grow to become a better person. He and Kathy discuss sensitivity and self-reflection as major strengths for parents and athletes alike, and utilizing LUV; listening, understanding through questioning, and validating. He encourages parents to engage in behavior that puts athletes into the RIVER; feeling relevant, important/inspired, valued, empowered, and respected. This meaningful conversation can’t be missed! Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 52: Coach John Lamanna on Virtue in Sport

Virtue is kind of that common denominator that is part of all our lives.
— Coach John Lamanna

Coach John Lamanna  is entering his third year as Director of Athletics at Ave Maria University and fourth as the head men's basketball coach. Coach Lamanna is no stranger to working with a transitioning program. Prior to Ave Maria, Lamanna lead the men’s basketball program at NCAA Division III program Franciscan University as its first Head Men’s Basketball Coach at the NCAA level. Prior to his four-year stint at Franciscan, Coach assisted the University of California, Davis in the transition from NCAA Division II to NCAA Division I. With the renewed focus of athletics at Ave Maria, Lamanna is excited about the rare opportunity that coaching basketball presents. Coach Lamanna received his start in college basketball at Washington State University, where he was a Student Assistant from 2000-2004. During his time at Washington State, he had the opportunity to work under Dick Bennett and current Head Coach at the University of Virginia, Tony Bennett. It was also at Washington State where he worked with Gary Stewart, who was the Head Men’s Basketball Coach at UC Davis. Outside of coaching, he is a published author with an article published by Scholastic Coach and Athletic Director Magazine entitled “How to Establish an Academic Philosophy as a Coach” and an article published by Winning Hoops Magazine which was a comparative analysis of two different man-to-man defensives. Additionally, he was featured in American Basketball Quarterly Magazine in an article about how scouting and technology can lead to success. A Spokane, WA native, he graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Kinesiology from Washington State University and a master’s degree in Counseling from Loyola Marymount University. He lives with his wife, Sara, and has three children, Gabi, Tony and Louis. Kathy and John dig into decision making, handling adversity and failure, goal setting, and deconstruct the four virtues he uses to guide his coaching; prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. His passion for mentorship should not be missed! If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 51: Coach Mike Lane on Doing the Little Things Well

Those kids that could take a negative and turn it into a positive are the ones that really excelled.
— Coach Mike Lane

Mike Lane has been the Director of Rowing and Head Women's Coach at Jacksonville University since the 2015 season. Prior to his highly successful program with the Dolphin rowing team he spent eight seasons at Penn as their head coach. Prior to his appointment at Penn, Lane built an impressive coaching resume. Before arriving in Philadelphia, he served as the men's freshman heavyweight rowing coach at MIT, where his responsibilities included organization and management of the freshman team, alumni relations, and recruiting. Before joining the staff at MIT, Lane served as program director and head coach for the Everett Rowing Association from 1997 to 2000. Under Lane’s guidance, the junior men’s crews finished second and fourth at Junior Nationals in three-consecutive seasons from 1998-2000. During his tenure, Lane’s crews also won nine regional championships. In addition to his responsibilities with the Everett Rowing Association, Lane established the women’s rowing team at Everett Community College in 1998, where he coached for two years. Lane has also served as an assistant coach for the U.S. Rowing Junior Women’s Development Camp and the Lake Lanier Rowing Club. Coach Lane graduated from Suffolk University with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and marketing, and in the spring of 2009 he completed his master's degree in education at Penn. In this episode Coach Lane shares his love of rowing and the lessons he brings to the boat that also apply to life beyond sport. He also shares incredible insight into the do’s and don'ts of the recruiting process and parent-coach communication for sport parents - if you are looking for ways to support your student during recruitment and their collegiate career this is the episode for you! If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. If you are interested in attending camp with Coach Lane, head to http://www.judolphinrowingcamp.com to learn more and register!

Episode 50: Recap with Kathy Feinstein

To parent a peak performer, you have to be a peak performer.
— Kathy Feinstein

Throughout our four seasons you've heard what it means and what it takes to be a peak performing sport parent. Here are some of the top take aways:   Parenting a peak performer means being a good listener, listening to what your athlete is saying as well as what he or she is not saying.  It's about asking thoughtful questions. It means bringing positive energy, leadership, and perspective to every situation including the sidelines. Parenting a peak performer means allowing your athlete to own his or her sport, embracing failure with a growth mindset, and keeping perspective or parenting with the end in mind.  Afterall, sports provide a vehicle for raising successful athletes and ultimately healthy and successful adults. The final take away and something you'll hear me say time and time again: To parent a peak performer you have to be a peak performer.  In other words be willing to do what you ask your athletes to do.  

Along with the recap this is a perfect time to thank everyone who has made this podcast a success.  I want to express my sincerest gratitude to each and every one of my guests.  They have brought a wealth of knowledge and been so generous with their time.  I also want to thank my production team for bringing such high quality shows week after week.  And finally I want to thank you! Our listeners.  Thank you for listening in and sharing  your feedback.  Together we are making a difference.  Again, many thanks for joining in to celebrate this milestone episode.  We are just getting started!

Next week we return to season four and to our expert coaches! As always...If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. I  would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media @sportspsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact


Episode 49: Mike DiGrigoli on Coaching, Thinking Positive, and Role Modeling to Your Athletes

The number one thing parents must do, in my opinion, to allow their son or daughter to be successful in extracurricular activities and sports is support the program.
— Mike DiGrigoli

Mike was born in Pittsfield, MA in 1972 and raised in West Stockbridge, MA. He grew up playing sports with friends and cousins in Berkshire County and attended Monument Mount Regional High School in Great Barrington where he played three sports - football, wrestling,  and baseball. He was also recently inducted into the Monument Mountain Regional High School Athletic Hall of Fame! He has just finished his 10th season coaching at Golden Gate this year and 8th season as Head Coach. He made school history by leading the Titans to their first postseason playoff appearances in 2011 and 2012 and only winning seasons in 2013, 2014, and 2018. Mike began his coaching career in 1995 as a graduate assistant football coach for the State University of New York at Brockport where he coached linebackers in strength and conditioning for the Golden Eagles. After one year he took his second coaching assignment at American International College in 1996. At American he served for two seasons as linebackers coach and special teams coordinator for the Yellow Jackets and earned his master’s degree in Education from American International in 1998. Coach D and his wife Paula have been married since 2003 and reside in Naples, FL with their daughter Issa, and son Andreas. Kathy and Mike talk through understanding the importance of athletics and why students should be involved, how sports build character and work ethic, and the encouragement needed to teach athletes perseverance. They also discuss creating realistic goals and how to bring about awareness when parents live vicariously through student athletes. Coach D shares how the vital elements of gratitude, attitude, toughness, and effort dictate the success of his teams. We are excited to keep sharing from the expertise of coaches! If you enjoyed the show, please like, share it with sport families in your life, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. If you’d like to share any feedback with Kathy she’d love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.


Episode 48: Col. Bart Weiss on Support, Humility, and Excellence

What does athletics teach you? It’s not about you, it’s about the other ten guys on that team, the other four in basketball...it’s about everyone working together for a common purpose, for a common goal, and you shouldn’t care who gets the credit as long as you accomplish that goal.
— Col. Bart Weiss

Col. Bart Weiss is the Director of Athletic Operations at the Community School of Naples, in Naples, FL. He has a truly impressive background in sport and at the United States Air Force. He recently retired after nearly 30 years of service as a full Colonel, and before retiring from active duty in 2014 to join CSN, Weiss served as the Academy’s Deputy Athletic Director. As Deputy Athletic Director of the USAF Academy he oversaw 27 NCAA Division I sport programs and supervised physical education and fitness programs to over 4,000 USAF Academy cadets. Col. Weiss was born in Muskegon, Michigan but grew up in Naples and graduated from Naples High school in 1982. He is a 1986 graduate of the US Air Force Academy and earned a master's of science from Marymount University in 1998 and graduated from the US Army Carlisle Barracks in 2006 with a master’s in National Security Strategy. As a member of the class of 1986 Col. Weiss was named a conference offensive player of the year, 1985 First-team all-conference, and 1985 runner up for the Davey O'Brien National Quarterback Award. In 1985, Weiss was the first player in USAFA history to rush and pass for over 1,000 yards in a season and led the 1985 team to a 12-1 overall record and #4 national ranking. He was also recently inducted into the United States Air Force Academy Hall of Fame. In addition to these leadership experiences, during his career in the Air Force he led 480 cadet-candidates through a balanced curriculum of military training, academic education and athletic competition and also led and commanded flying squadrons and multiple operational units worldwide. He served in Washington DC working alongside both military leaders and members of Congress, and is a command pilot with 5,000 flying hours. He served as Vice President Gore’s pilot on Air Force Two, and also spent a year augmenting Air Force One! Kathy and Col. Weiss met up on the road this week and spent time digging into the “secret sauce” for parents of balancing support and humility, teaching excellence, integrity, respect, and instilling discipline in athletes. He delves into the dynamics of when to be a leader and when to fold into an existing entity and work your way up. His wisdom on the importance of failure and seeing the big picture is so helpful, and we believe parents and athletes will gain so much from the wisdom in this episode. Learning from his focus on teachability and cheering on the entire team was such an honor to us, and we hope this episode inspires excellence in you and your athletes this week!

Episode 47: Irwin Hudson on Motivation, Dedication, and Taking off the Parent Colored Glasses

One of the highlights of this episode was hearing Irwin’s favorite quote; “If you cannot risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot become your best. If you cannot become your best, you cannot be happy. If you can’t be happy, then what else matters.”
— Viscott

Irwin was born and raised in Starkville, MS and received a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Engineering from Mississippi State University in 1991. He then obtained his Master’s from the University of Central Florida in Modeling & Simulation in 2013, and his Ph.D. in Human Factors Engineering from the University of Central Florida in December of 2016. Irwin currently works for the US Army Futures Command as a Science and Technology Manager, however, basketball is his passion! Teaching and training players how to physically and mentally play the game is what he does best. He's trained several thousands of players ranging from age 6 to All-stars in the NBA. He has had some pretty notable clients, including Dwight Howard, Chandler Parsons, Austin Rivers, Nick Calathes, Deshawn Stevenson, Tacko Falls, AJ Davis, and Phil Pressey. He served as Head Boys Varsity Coach for 2 years at Trinity Prep and 3 years at Bishop Moore Catholic High School and Assistant Coach for 8 years at Lake Howell High School, 2 years at Oakridge High School, & 2 years at Seminole State. He officially incorporated OrlandoHoops, Inc. in 1999, founding his company on the principles of hard-work, dedication and a willingness to do whatever it takes to improve talent and skill of each and every participant. Whether he’s coaching, counseling, teaching, or leading a training session Irwin’s passion and knowledge shines through whenever he is on the court. For the past 20 years he has been making players better in Orlando, the state of Florida, and across the world - including USA, Brazil, Greece, Russia, France and Canada. He is the very proud husband to Mrs. Phuong Hudson and father to daughters Olivia Joyce Hudson and Audrey Grace Hudson.

It is crystal clear in this episode that Irwin is one of the most kind and dedicated coaches you could find. His wisdom for players and parents alike is invaluable. He and Kathy talk talent, focusing on the kind of support and dedication that prepares an athlete for the field of play and life off the court, and dissect the principles of focus and attention and their impact in an athlete’s success. He also offers guidance for parents in separating the activity of parenting from coaching, especially when working with young athletes, and how to put the emphasis on their choice to play and keep their love of the sport alive. You can find more from Dr. Coach’s at http://www.ohoops.com, as well as stay in the loop on his upcoming book release!




Episode 46: Derek Touchette on Living Through Our Athlete’s Failures

Be there, be present, and enjoy it.
— Derek Touchette

Derek is a Performance Enhancement Specialist, a U.S. Weightlifting Club Coach at Level 1, and a Weightlifting Sports Performance Coach for speed. Derek earned his Bachelor’s degree from Central Michigan University in Exercise Physiology with a Nutrition minor. He has four years of experience as a Performance Specialist at the IMG Academies, and during his time there he prepared athletes for the NFL combine; worked with NFL, NBA, and MLB veterans, the MLS and WUSA teams, and trained the Under-17 Men’s National Soccer Team. He has had the opportunity to work under Loren Seagrave, one of the most renowned speed and sports performance coaches in the world, and Rana Rieder, one of the top USA track and field coaches. He also has experience advising all types of athletes in the area of nutrition; planning individual meals. Derek is dedicated to the development of his athletes and other fitness enthusiasts, which is evident in the fact that many of the people he has trained are still playing at the professional level and return on a regular basis. Kathy and Derek discuss nurturing confidence, drive, and determination to take it to the next level. He is an open book on how to offer guidance without being “that” parent on the sidelines. Derek speaks from a coaching and parenting perspective to emphasize cultivating curiosity, allowing for freedom to test things out (without over-involvement), and normalizing failure. You’ll want to listen to this episode to learn his five-minute timer technique and gain from Derek’s uplifting and motivating attitude!


Episode 45: Bill Carufe on Coaching and Parenting Successes

Athletics are just an avenue to make you a better person, don’t let it be who you are...at some point it stops.
— Bill Carufe

Bill is the Director of Basketball and the Physical Education Department Chair at Seacrest Country Day School in Naples, FL. His list of accomplishments is extensive; he was named the Naples Daily News Basketball Coach of the Year in 2007 and 2008, the Fort Myers News Press Basketball Coach of the Year in 2007, the Community School of Naples Basketball ranked his team number one in the state in 2007, he was named the Collier County Teacher of the Year in 2000, the Gulf Coast High School Coach of the Year in 2000, and the Gulf Coast High School Teacher of the Year in 2000. Bill’s path to youth sports began as a youth athlete himself! As the oldest of five he found himself often putting together games and teams, and continued on to Division III collegiate athletics and a master’s degree (with his thesis focused on the psychosocial development and  implications of youth sports on children). His coaching and teaching has spanned all age groups and levels and currently includes instructing a first of its kind a Sports Psychology course focusing on theory and practice with particular relevance to life outside of sport. In this episode he and Kathy discuss parent involvement in collegiate sports, creating balance, performance in raising successful people over successful athletes, and maintaining perspective both as a coach and a sport parent. His passion for coaching and identity formation outside of sports absolutely shines in this episode, we hope you enjoy listening just as much as we did recording this one (quite a bit!).

Episode 44: Ernie Clark on Learning from the Best, and from Yourself as a Coach

If you want to do this, it’s going to be really hard. There’s a misconception that if you want it really bad and you try really hard you’re going to have high levels of success.
— Ernie Clark

We’re kicking off season four this week and diving into the coach’s perspective! In past seasons we’ve spoken to the parents, the players themselves, and the experts, and we are excited now to dive into the perspectives of some incredible coaches! Coach Ernie Clark was a high school coach for 14 years, a club coach for six, and now coaches at the collegiate level. He started out as a high school athlete struggling with performance, and through guidance from his coaches became a state qualifier and earned a collegiate scholarship for Track and Field. He became a national qualifier in the 400 hurdles at the University of Indianapolis. He went on to teach and coach high school athletes, breaking school records and growing multiple programs in Indiana. His athletes became 6th in the state during his most successful season, during which he realized his drive as a coach was to help athletes reach beyond what he could do as an athlete himself; competing on a higher national level, such as the USA Championships, and even the Olympics trials or Olympic Games. He became a coach at Ashland University, working alongside four-time Olympian Judd Logan, and currently coaches five national champions - including Myles Pringle. Coach Clark has been named a Regional Track and Field Assistant Coach of the Year two years in a row and was recently named Assistant National Coach of the Year. He and Kathy discuss his development from out-working to out-motivating, the massive mentality shifts he’s learned, and how his own struggles as an athlete and becoming addicted to doing a great job became the biggest factors in his growth as a coach. Ernie is not only a coach, but a sports parent himself, with two kids aged 14 and 17. If you enjoyed this episode please share and like Parenting Peak Performers whenever you listen in!

Episode 43: Gordon MacLelland on Courageous Communication as a Coach and Sport Parent

Ultimately it was their experience.
— Gordon MacLelland

Gordon MacLelland set up the organization Working with Parents in Sport after 20 years as a teacher and as a coach to all age levels from about 7 year olds to Adults. He has a BA in Sports Science from University College Chester and a PGCE from Lancaster University. He is a qualified teacher and has been Director of Sport at an independent prep school in the UK for the last 10 years. He has worked in schools in both the UK and New Zealand for the last 16 years. Gordon is the author of two books, “Great Sports Parenting”, a pocket guide for parents of children in sport and, “Engage”, a coach's guide to building positive relationships with parents. He has recently become a parent to two children and the early sporting experiences of his own children prompted him to set up the company as well as write the two books above. As a speaker he brings a wealth of experience to working with organizations, coaches and parents gathered through 20 years as a teacher and coach as well as a parent currently involved in children’s sport. He and Kathy discuss the importance of perspective for sports parents, the encouragements that are key to athlete’s development, and the two questions NOT to ask post-game. Gordon’s website,  http://www.parentsinsport.co.uk also has a wealth of information and resources for parents!